The Product Experience (Mind the Product)
How to Lead when You Don't Have Authority - Sean Flaherty (ITX Corp)
The Product Experience (Mind the Product)
•January 14, 2026•40 min
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The Product Experience (Mind the Product)•Jan 14, 2026
Why It Matters
Understanding the science of intrinsic motivation equips product leaders to inspire high‑performing teams without relying on hierarchy, leading to sustainable innovation. As organizations face rapid change and AI‑driven shifts, mastering autonomy, competence, and relatedness becomes essential for building resilient, accountable cultures.
Key Takeaways
- •Self-determination theory drives intrinsic motivation for teams.
- •Balance freedom and structure to avoid chaos or predictability.
- •Autonomy, competence, relatedness form the leadership motivation code.
- •Gradual guardrails expand as competence grows.
- •Influence without authority relies on scientific motivation principles.
Pulse Analysis
Sean Flaherty blends a lifelong fascination with code—both genetic and software—with academic research to explain why product leaders must master influence without formal authority. Drawing on self-determination theory, he argues that intrinsic motivation, not hierarchy, fuels sustainable performance. By grounding his advice in decades of engineering, design, and product management experience, Flaherty shows that leaders who understand the science behind human behavior can shape outcomes for users, teams, and stakeholders alike.
The core of his framework rests on three psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Autonomy isn’t free‑range chaos; it requires a calibrated balance of freedom and structure, visualized as a parabolic curve where too little leads to stagnation and too much creates a prison of predictability. Competence grows when individuals receive meaningful challenges that match their skill level, entering a state of flow that reinforces identity and motivation. Relatedness builds trust and loyalty, turning users and team members into advocates who feel cared for and purposeful. Together, these elements create a "motivation code" that product leaders can apply across ecosystems.
Practically, Flaherty advises leaders to start with narrow guardrails, allowing teams to experiment within defined limits, then gradually expand those boundaries as competence rises. This incremental autonomy nurtures creativity while preserving alignment with strategic goals. Simultaneously, fostering relatedness through transparent communication and shared purpose deepens engagement. By embedding these principles, leaders can drive higher‑quality outcomes without relying on formal authority, delivering faster innovation and stronger market impact. The approach resonates with modern businesses seeking agile, motivated teams capable of navigating rapid change.
Episode Description
In this episode of The Product Experience, host Lily Smith speaks with veteran product leader Sean Flaherty about a question at the heart of modern product management: how do you influence without authority? Drawing from behavioural science and decades of experience building products and teams, Sean outlines a framework based on self‑determination theory — the modern science of intrinsic motivation.
Through the lens of autonomy, competence and relatedness, Sean explains why traditional command‑and‑control leadership undermines creativity and accountability. He shows how true autonomy is structured freedom, how competence is demonstrated through behaviour, and how relatedness builds trust and advocacy among teams and users. Along the way he reframes accountability as something teams hold themselves to, not something enforced by fear, and discusses how leaders can help teams grow, adapt and thrive in a world of constant change.
Chapters
00:00 — Introduction & central question
01:30 — Guest background
04:45 — State of leadership today
06:10 — Intro to intrinsic motivation
08:40 — The “code” of motivation
12:28 — Autonomy in teams
17:11 — Competence and product work
20:30 — Observable behaviour and growth paths
23:10 — Adaptability and learning culture
24:25 — Accountability misunderstood
27:04 — Accountability spectrum
31:21 — Addressing negative behaviour
36:19 — AI and leadership change
38:01 — Leadership trends today
Key Takeaways
— Motivation is scientific, not abstract
— Product leaders need to understand the science of intrinsic motivation — not just processes or tools — to influence without authority and achieve sustainable outcomes.
— Three core motivators drive behaviour
Autonomy: people need meaningful choice, not chaos or micro‑management
Competence: motivation increases when people feel capable and are supported to grow
Relatedness: connection and shared purpose power trust, loyalty and advocacy
— Autonomy is structured freedom: Autonomy is not “do whatever you want”. It’s about balancing freedom with guidance so teams can be creative but not lost.
— Competence is observed in behaviour, not checklists: Real competence shows up in behaviour — what people do — not just knowledge or titles.
— Accountability emerges, not enforced: Traditional accountability relies on fear and external control. In contrast, self‑accountability arises when goals are meaningful and environments allow people
Our Hosts
Lily Smith enjoys working as a consultant product manager with early-stage and growing startups and as a mentor to other product managers. She’s currently Chief Product Officer at BBC Maestro, and has spent 13 years in the tech industry working with startups in the SaaS and mobile space. She’s worked on a diverse range of products – leading the product teams through discovery, prototyping, testing and delivery. Lily also founded ProductTank Bristol and runs ProductCamp in Bristol and Bath.
Randy Silver is a Leadership & Product Coach and Consultant. He gets teams unstuck, helping you to supercharge your results. Randy's held interim CPO and Leadership roles at scale-ups and SMEs, advised start-ups, and been Head of Product at HSBC and Sainsbury’s. He participated in Silicon Valley Product Group’s Coaching the Coaches forum, and speaks frequently at conferences and events. You can join one of communities he runs for CPOs (CPO Circles), Product Managers (Product In the {A}ether) and Product Coaches. He’s the author of What Do We Do Now? A Product Manager’s Guide to Strategy in the Time of COVID-19. A recovering music journalist and editor, Randy also launched Amazon’s music stores in the US & UK.
Show Notes
In this episode of The Product Experience, host Lily Smith speaks with veteran product leader Sean Flaherty about a question at the heart of modern product management: how do you influence without authority? Drawing from behavioural science and decades of experience building products and teams, Sean outlines a framework based on self‑determination theory — the modern science of intrinsic motivation.
Through the lens of autonomy, competence and relatedness, Sean explains why traditional command‑and‑control leadership undermines creativity and accountability. He shows how true autonomy is structured freedom, how competence is demonstrated through behaviour, and how relatedness builds trust and advocacy among teams and users. Along the way he reframes accountability as something teams hold themselves to, not something enforced by fear, and discusses how leaders can help teams grow, adapt and thrive in a world of constant change.
Chapters
00:00 — Introduction & central question
01:30 — Guest background
04:45 — State of leadership today
06:10 — Intro to intrinsic motivation
08:40 — The “code” of motivation
12:28 — Autonomy in teams
17:11 — Competence and product work
20:30 — Observable behaviour and growth paths
23:10 — Adaptability and learning culture
24:25 — Accountability misunderstood
27:04 — Accountability spectrum
31:21 — Addressing negative behaviour
36:19 — AI and leadership change
38:01 — Leadership trends today
**Key Takeaways
**— Motivation is scientific, not abstract
— Product leaders need to understand the science of intrinsic motivation — not just processes or tools — to influence without authority and achieve sustainable outcomes.
— Three core motivators drive behaviour
Autonomy: people need meaningful choice, not chaos or micro‑management
Competence: motivation increases when people feel capable and are supported to grow
Relatedness: connection and shared purpose power trust, loyalty and advocacy
— Autonomy is structured freedom: Autonomy is not “do whatever you want”. It’s about balancing freedom with guidance so teams can be creative but not lost.
— Competence is observed in behaviour, not checklists: Real competence shows up in behaviour — what people do — not just knowledge or titles.
— Accountability emerges, not enforced: Traditional accountability relies on fear and external control. In contrast, self‑accountability arises when goals are meaningful and environments allow people
**Our Hosts
Lily Smith** enjoys working as a consultant product manager with early-stage and growing startups and as a mentor to other product managers. She’s currently Chief Product Officer at BBC Maestro, and has spent 13 years in the tech industry working with startups in the SaaS and mobile space. She’s worked on a diverse range of products – leading the product teams through discovery, prototyping, testing and delivery. Lily also founded ProductTank Bristol and runs ProductCamp in Bristol and Bath.
Randy Silver is a Leadership & Product Coach and Consultant. He gets teams unstuck, helping you to supercharge your results. Randy's held interim CPO and Leadership roles at scale-ups and SMEs, advised start-ups, and been Head of Product at HSBC and Sainsbury’s. He participated in Silicon Valley Product Group’s Coaching the Coaches forum, and speaks frequently at conferences and events. You can join one of communities he runs for CPOs (CPO Circles), Product Managers (Product In the {A}ether) and Product Coaches. He’s the author of What Do We Do Now? A Product Manager’s Guide to Strategy in the Time of COVID-19. A recovering music journalist and editor, Randy also launched Amazon’s music stores in the US & UK.
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