“Is Your Childhood Still Running Your Marriage”
Dr. Kim’s essay reveals how silent conflict‑avoidance learned at a 1962 dinner table still governs her marriage. She identifies five common childhood emotional scripts—Fixer, Withdrawer, Exploder, Peacekeeper, Intellectualizer—and shows how opposing scripts create friction between spouses. The piece offers a practical "Looking Back" exercise for couples to uncover their inherited rules and encourages conscious re‑training of responses. By recognizing the origin of these patterns, partners can replace reflexive reactions with healthier communication.
“The Question That Saved My Marriage (And It’s Not What You Think)”
In a personal essay, Dr. Kim recounts how asking her husband, “What are you actually feeling right now?” broke a communication impasse that had lingered for years. The revelation that both partners possessed a limited emotional vocabulary—often reduced to five...
Stay in the Room
The post urges readers to "stay in the room"—to remain present when conversations become uncomfortable, friendships grow awkward, or personal vulnerabilities surface. It argues that avoidance erodes trust, while intentional presence fuels relational resilience, a lesson the author has witnessed...