Dealing with Regrets

Why It Matters

This shifts focus from immobilizing self-criticism to practical behavior change, offering a simple tool for improving mental health and decision-making. For individuals and organizations, converting regret into concrete, value-driven actions increases accountability and forward momentum.

Summary

The speaker argues that rumination about past regrets feels deceptively productive but is passive and unhelpful. Using a personal story about a missed romantic opportunity, she illustrates how dwelling on 'what ifs' substitutes for action. She reframes regret as a clue to underlying values—such as effort, learning, or responsibility—that are actionable in the present. The remedy is to translate regret into small, present-moment steps aligned with those values (e.g., apologize, fix one error, learn one lesson).

Original Description

Sometimes rumination is just regret in disguise.

Your brain keeps replaying the past, hoping that if it thinks about it long enough, it can somehow change what happened.

But regret doesn't heal through analysis.

It heals through action.

If you regret not speaking up, practice honesty today.

If you regret a mistake, make amends today.

The fastest way out of regret is to stop living in yesterday and start taking value-based action in the present moment.

FREE Mental Health Resources: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.co...

Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 988 or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC