My Employee Is Abrasive — Can I Ask Others to Be Patient While I Coach Her?

My Employee Is Abrasive — Can I Ask Others to Be Patient While I Coach Her?

Ask a Manager
Ask a ManagerApr 27, 2026

Key Takeaways

  • Abrasive tone harms student engagement and team morale.
  • Personality traits don’t excuse disruptive workplace behavior.
  • Direct, specific feedback is essential for behavior change.
  • Managers must set clear expectations and consequences.
  • Consider role reassignment if improvement doesn’t occur quickly.

Pulse Analysis

In higher‑education theater production, technical excellence can be quickly undermined by interpersonal friction. Jane’s ability to deliver complex projects is valuable, but her curt communication style erodes student confidence and discourages junior staff from seeking guidance. When the very audience a department serves feels disrespected, enrollment numbers and program reputation can suffer, turning a performance issue into a strategic risk for the university.

Workplace culture does not grant a free pass for personality quirks that disrupt collaboration. HR best practices and legal standards treat harassment, intimidation, and hostile communication as performance issues, not optional traits. Managers must move beyond vague encouragement and provide concrete, documented examples of unacceptable behavior, setting measurable improvement targets and a clear timeline. This approach not only protects the organization but also gives the employee a fair chance to adjust.

Effective remediation combines coaching with accountability. The manager should schedule a formal performance‑improvement plan, outlining specific communication goals, regular check‑ins, and potential consequences if progress stalls. If Jane fails to meet these standards, reassignment or termination may be necessary to preserve a supportive environment for students and staff. By prioritizing respectful interaction alongside technical skill, the department safeguards its mission and reinforces a culture where excellence is defined by both output and conduct.

my employee is abrasive — can I ask others to be patient while I coach her?

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