Psychologist Reacts: Why Noticing Is a Skill Your Kid Should Learn

Why It Matters

Framing attention as a learnable skill helps children develop executive function and responsibility, reducing parental frustration and creating durable routines; small, consistent coaching techniques can improve organization and independence over time.

Summary

Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky advises parents to treat "noticing" as a teachable skill rather than a character flaw, using real-time modelling, guided questions, and coaching. She demonstrates narrating actions aloud to show children what noticing looks like, prompting them to scan rooms with open questions, and avoiding silent corrections. Dr. Becky recommends collaborative problem-solving—like using Post‑it reminders or pairing forgotten items with things kids always remember—to build habit and ownership. The approach shifts parents from criticism to skill-building, turning everyday oversights into opportunities for practice.

Original Description

I loved this viral video from @thegilliamfam (definitely go watch the full thing) because what he's doing with his sons is something I also talk about a lot with my own kids.

Noticing is a skill, which means it has to be taught and practiced over time - and you're the person who teaches it. The goal isn't perfection or catching every moment. It's building a relationship where noticing becomes a normal part of how you talk about life together. Over time, your child will start noticing on their own - their choices, their feelings, their impact.