Q&A with Dr. Zelana Montminy | Conversations with Common Sense Media

Why It Matters

Helping parents understand attention as a physiological, co‑regulated process equips families to protect children’s mental health and focus, reducing the long‑term costs of digital overload on society.

Key Takeaways

• Attention is a nervous‑system state, not just willpower.
• Parents model regulation; children co‑regulate by observing daily.
• Micro restorative breaks reset brain better than multitasking screens.
• Genuine, open conversations build focus more than structured screen limits.
• Consistent small habits outweigh occasional intensive digital detoxes.

Summary

The video features a conversation between Eda Collins Coleman of Common Sense Media and psychologist Dr. Zelana Montminy, centered on reclaiming attention in an age of constant digital distraction. The discussion frames focus not as a productivity skill but as a physiological state tied to the nervous system’s sense of safety, emphasizing that parents serve as the primary regulators for their children.

Key insights include the idea that focus collapses when the nervous system is overstimulated, anxious, or grieving, and that true regulation comes from co‑regulation—adults modeling calm and emotional presence. Dr. Montminy advocates for micro‑restorative breaks, such as looking away from screens for ten seconds or stepping outside for a breath, arguing these are more effective than multitasking “breaks” that merely feed dopamine. She also stresses that children learn emotional regulation by being with a regulated adult, not through direct instruction.

Notable moments feature Dr. Montminy’s description of focus as “a state of functioning when your nervous system feels safe,” and her critique of common “self‑care” habits like scrolling cat videos, which numb rather than restore. Practical examples include asking children open‑ended questions about their day, using car‑time conversations, and modeling short, intentional pauses to demonstrate restorative practices.

The implications are clear: families must shift from managing behavior to nurturing nervous‑system safety, integrating consistent, small habits rather than occasional digital detoxes. By modeling regulation and creating emotionally safe environments, parents can foster deeper focus and resilience in children, ultimately counteracting the broader societal epidemic of distraction.

Original Description

On our next Conversations with Common Sense Media, Dr. Zelana Montminy, psychologist, behavioral scientist, author, and speaker, shares research and resources from her new book Finding Focus: Own Your Attention in an Age of Distraction. Join us and learn how fractured attention impacts families and how reclaiming your attention can provide a tremendous benefit for you and those around you.

Our mission is to advocate for children's safety in our digital landscape, from social media's addictive algorithms to distractions in our always-on world.

It turns out that digital world is becoming increasingly distracting for parents, too. Our devices are competing for our attention, alongside our children. How can we take stock of our own behaviors and shift our focus to the things that matter and become better role models?