Personal GrowthHuman PotentialLeadership

‘Another Damn Learning Opportunity’: Sheila Heen on Learning and Feedback

Harvard Law School
Harvard Law School•Apr 23, 2026

Why It Matters

Understanding feedback as Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation equips professionals to convert criticism into growth, a critical advantage in law, business, and any negotiation‑intensive field.

Key Takeaways

  • •Sheila Heen appointed Thaddeus R. Beal Professor of Practice at HLS.
  • •Heen emphasizes feedback as learning engine, categorizing three types.
  • •Appreciation feedback boosts motivation; coaching drives skill improvement.
  • •Evaluation feedback clarifies performance gaps but can feel threatening.
  • •Heen’s personal stories illustrate resilience and the power of mentorship.

Summary

The ceremony honored Sheila Heen’s new role as the Thaddeus R. Beal Professor of Practice at Harvard Law School, highlighting her three‑decade legacy in negotiation research, executive education, and bestselling books on difficult conversations and feedback.

Heen used the platform to unpack why learning feels hard, framing feedback as an engine for growth. She broke it into three distinct categories—Appreciation, which validates effort and sustains motivation; Coaching, which offers concrete ways to improve; and Evaluation, which diagnoses performance gaps but can trigger defensiveness. This taxonomy clarifies how to harness feedback without succumbing to its emotional sting.

Personal anecdotes punctuated her talk: memories of her parents’ legal careers, the bittersweet task of closing her father’s 60‑year practice, and the serendipitous meeting of her husband and co‑author Doug Stone in a 1991 negotiation workshop. These stories illustrate how mentorship, resilience, and community shape professional development.

For law students and business leaders, Heen’s framework offers a practical roadmap to turn everyday comments—formal reviews, informal cues, even silence—into actionable learning. Embracing the three feedback types can improve negotiation outcomes, team dynamics, and personal mastery in high‑stakes environments.

Original Description

On the occasion of her appointment as the Thaddeus R. Beal Professor of Practice at Harvard Law School, negotiation expert Sheila Heen ’93 delivered a lecture titled "Another Damn Learning Opportunity," where she delved into the topic of feedback, and how learning how to parse it can contribute to our formal or informal learning and personal growth. She argues that learning how to accept other peoples’ feedback — even blistering criticism — and gain something from it is an invaluable skill that can make us better at our jobs and even better citizens.
Heen, who specializes in particularly difficult negotiations, has coauthored the books "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" (2010) and "Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It’s Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly, You’re Not in the Mood)" (2014). She also serves as a deputy director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, where she has been developing negotiation theory and practice since 1995.
0:00 Introduction by Dean John Goldberg
6:25 Opening remarks and acknowledgements by Sheila Heen
15:18 On learning and feedback
23:00 Reasons for rejecting feedback
28:18 Managing ‘triggered reactions’
33:30 Getting perspective on negative feedback
36:22 Thaddeus Beal, Roger Fisher, and where we are today
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