Tara Brach Podcast
This Messy, Gorgeous Love—A Conversation with Tara and Devon and Nico Hase
Why It Matters
The conversation shows that intimate relationships are not obstacles but essential training grounds for mindfulness and compassion, offering listeners practical tools to turn everyday conflict into spiritual growth. As more people seek authentic connection in a fast‑paced world, this episode provides timely guidance on integrating Buddhist principles into love, friendship, and community partnerships.
Key Takeaways
- •Vows framed as partners in awakening guide their marriage.
- •Conflict reveals need for co‑regulation and space in relationships.
- •Different decision styles become opportunities for curiosity and growth.
- •Nervous system awareness deepens trust during high‑stress moments.
- •Buddhist practice applied to everyday partnership challenges.
Pulse Analysis
The latest episode of the Tara Brock podcast welcomes longtime friends and teachers Devin and Nico Hase, authors of *This Messy Gorgeous Love*. Their conversation weaves personal anecdotes with Buddhist teachings, showing how partnership can serve as a direct path to awakening. From their first date in a Zen monastery to the vows they wrote—‘partners in awakening’—the couple treats marriage as a living meditation. By framing love as a shared practice, they illustrate why modern professionals should view relationships not merely as emotional comforts but as strategic opportunities for growth, compassion, and collective purpose.
Conflict becomes a laboratory for mindfulness when the Hases discuss their early rupture over lifestyle choices and a later near‑disaster in a custom RV on a mountain road. The story highlights two complementary nervous‑system responses: Devin’s need for co‑regulation and Nico’s tendency to self‑regulate under pressure. Their solution—offering space, acknowledging fault, and then re‑engaging—demonstrates practical co‑regulation techniques that any team can adopt. By treating tension as a signal rather than a problem, they turn high‑stress moments into trust‑building exercises, reinforcing the Buddhist principle that suffering can reveal deeper connection.
Listeners walk away with three actionable insights: treat differences as curiosity triggers, use Bodhicitta as a litmus test for partnership impact, and embed mindfulness into daily decision‑making. Whether negotiating a business merger or navigating a personal disagreement, the Hases show that mindful awareness of each partner’s nervous system creates a resilient, compassionate culture. Their blend of humor, impermanence, and concrete practice offers a roadmap for lasting partnership that transcends romance and applies to leadership, teamwork, and any collaborative endeavor. The episode invites professionals to experiment with these tools and watch their relationships—and results—flourish.
Episode Description
Tara is joined by two longtime friends and wonderful teachers, Devon and Nico Hase, to explore their recent book, This Messy, Gorgeous Love: A Buddhist Guide to Lasting Partnership. This refreshingly real and relatable book offers guidance for anyone wanting to deepen love in their relationships. Drawing from their own lived experience—with humor, humility, and insight—Devon and Nico reveal how partnership can be both challenging and profoundly transformative.
In this conversation, they explore what truly supports a deep and loving partnership: how to meet conflict and reactivity, how practice comes alive in everyday moments, how to bring mindful presence into sexuality, and how reflecting on impermanence can deepen intimacy. While centered on intimate partners, the teachings speak to the whole field of our relationships.
Our introduction music is from "Opening" by Adrienne Torf, © 2025 ABT Music
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