How to Actually Change

Why It Matters

By providing a concrete timeline for self‑monitoring, the method helps individuals curb costly impulsive actions, boosting productivity and mental well‑being.

Key Takeaways

• Identify triggers before impulsive actions to gain early awareness
• Week 1‑2: recognize mistakes post‑reaction and reflect curiously
• Week 3‑4: notice behavior mid‑action, analyze thoughts, rehearse alternatives
• Week 5 onward: intercept impulses at onset and replace them consciously
• Consistent self‑monitoring accelerates long‑term behavioral change and improves decision-making outcomes

Summary

The video outlines a step‑by‑step method for rewiring impulsive habits, emphasizing that change is a retroactive process that moves from post‑action awareness to pre‑action interception.

In weeks one and two, viewers learn to catch themselves after the impulsive act, cultivate curiosity, and map triggers. Weeks three and four shift the awareness to the moment of reaction, prompting real‑time analysis of thoughts and rehearsal of alternative responses. By week five, the individual can stop the impulse at its inception and substitute a deliberate behavior.

The presenter illustrates the progression with a personal example: “I’m about to say it… Oh, I said it,” then questions the underlying mental script and practices a different reply. This self‑talk demonstrates how curiosity replaces judgment and creates a rehearsal loop for better choices.

Adopting this staged approach equips professionals and anyone seeking self‑control with measurable milestones, reducing costly mistakes and enhancing decision quality across personal and workplace contexts.

Original Description

Stopping impulsive reactions isn't easy, in fact it can feel like you're working backwards.

But your awareness of those impulses is powerful, and a practice of noticing and having curiosity towards those impulses is exactly how you start to change.

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 988 or your local emergency services.

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